


Toxicating Love

by Scornful_truth



Series: Sweet Bloodied Smiles [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Child Abuse, Drug Withdrawal, M/M, References to Drugs, kind Shuichi, poor kokichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 23:49:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20984444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scornful_truth/pseuds/Scornful_truth
Summary: Kokichi’s tired.Prompt 10: Unconscious





	Toxicating Love

_It hurt to have rough rusted metal rake across his once soft skinned wrists. Wide innocent eyes poured into the harsh glare that trapped him under the spotlight of their stare._

_The woman who had kept him here had previously coiled a small thin paper about some...thing. She hushed him and her slim fingers bit into his shoulder, keeping his back against the wall. The thing in her hand was brought to his mouth. “...breath it in.” She whispered. Keeping quiet so Father wouldn’t hear._

_He shook his head. His little lip quivered at the forced movement. “...I don’t want it.” He muttered. The slim fingers— her slim fingers pinched his shoulder. The glare deepening into a sinister growl that sounded as silence as a pin dropping. She stuck the papery coil between his lips and shoved his jaw shut over it._

_She clicked on the lighter. The flame was the brightest thing in the room, other than the slight crack of light leaking in from under the door. The fire caught on the end of the coil and her thumb pressed firmly down on his neck._

_On release, he gasped. Except the air that came rushing in chalked up his throat and pummeled down his throat like thick smoke. He couldn't help the drowning coughs that followed, even though she said to keep quiet. Her hand raised and he whimpered even before it came down._

_The sharp burn flashed across his cheek and those nasty fingers kept the coil on the tip of his tongue. Forcing another gasp, taking another gulp of the garbage smelling oxygen he couldn’t see. He wanted to rip his hands from the old handcuffs his mother latched around his hands, he wanted freedom._

_“St-st…” Stop. Just stop. Her hand raised again, and he breathed in before he was forced. But it came down anyway._

* * *

_ **SMACK** _

Kokichi jolted at the sound. He blinked and rubbed his bloodshot eyes. They stung horrible and he wished to just keep them closed. He settled with keeping his hands over them. Letting his palms bathe his eyes in darkness for a little while longer.

“Ouma, quit sleeping in my class.” The teacher scolded weakly, knowing deep down that it would only do so much. Meaning nothing at all. The other kids next to him chuckled and spoke up.

“He’s probably just high again Miss.” one girl said, her name started with… T. He couldn't remember. “Degenerate male.” She scoffed. “He has no decency or moral conduct.”

Kokichi spread his fingers so he could at least look at her. Maybe convey through his eyes that he was too tired for this today. Maybe she would see that he just wants to catch a break. “Thank you, Chabashira.” The teacher stated plainly. Chabashira… Tenko. That’s right, her name is Tenko.

“Or he just got off last night!” Miu, he knows her, she cackled as no one found her comment funny. But got a couple measly nods in considering agreement.

“Enough Iruma.” His teacher said, returning to the front of the room. “Back to the lesson, Ouma, since you seem to think all this is pointless. You must know it. So who was the leading daimyo family in the feudal era of Japan?”

Kokichi blinked, his eyes slurred the board’s writing, not even mentioning the textbook he slept on. The words were smaller than an ant. He’s definitely too tired for this. “...Um,” he gripped the side of his desk. Was the room spinning? Yes. Yes it was. It really was. “The, um… Tokugawa family.”

His teacher stared at him. Turning her back on him. “...Correct.” She said flatly.

He would celebrate but he felt too dizzy. More than he’s used to coping with- kinda dizzy. Had his brain finally turned to mush? It must've been shaped into a dreidel. And now someone had spun it, and it for some reason keeps spinning. And spinning.

Kokichi rubbed his eyes again. His blood felt like it ran too cold, yet his skin burned red hot. His tongue felt dry, his eyes watered from the fire that was raging behind his eyelids. Even his heart pounded and slammed against his ribs for no good reason. His stomach sat painfully empty and he feared it might just turn on him. Maybe it would flip inside out? That’d be gross.

When the bell rang, he though the air was the one ringing. It zipped through his sensitive eardrums and filled it with non-existent water. He couldn’t keep his fingers from scrubbed his eyes. Maybe if he kept up like this, he wouldn’t fall asleep again. Was it only first class..? Ugh.

The other students started filing to the door, Kokichi pushed himself up and slung his bag over his shoulder. For as light as it was, he felt like it’d knock him over.

Sleep. Sleep. _Sleep Kokichi._

He couldn’t. As much as he wanted to.

“Hey, how many doses did you have yesterday?” Some guy… Kaito? No, yes. That’s Kaito. The kid next to him chuckled, Kokichi didn’t remember his face. He laughed and chuckled. Turning to his group- or was that one person too many? He blinked. Oh. No, that’s just Kaito, no group.

“He probably had some before school even started.” Someone nodded to his statement. “Man, he’s out of it. Hello! Anyone in there? Someone smoke out all the brain cells?” Who’s talking now?

He practically watched his hand smack the side of his aching head. Those fingers balled into a fist and knocked three times against his forehead. “Gone brain dead?” Someone said. “He’s empty.” “I know.” “Let’s go to class.” “Is he just standing there?”

Kokichi turned his head away from the confusing duo. He forgot what class he had next. He just keeps forgetting. He’s so forgetful.

He seemed to just blink and the halway is suddenly empty. As if on cue, the floor dips and sends his world turning. His hand shot forward and caught the wall. He’s so tired. He’s really, really tired.

If he stayed home, then he would have to deal with locking himself in a cloudy room. That awful stench of garbage and rottenness followed him everywhere. Even if he got a cold shower in this morning, he still smelled so _disgusting_. It was on his clothes, on his breath, in his blood and intoxicating every fiber he was born with.

It took a moment to realize he sank to the floor. A hand still against the wall, the other flat against the floor, keeping his sitting up position was a struggle. He let his head rest against the cold wall for a moment.

Kokichi covered his eyes again. They watered too much. Everything was just too much. The air was always hard to breath. His lungs were always so tight. His throat was always dry. The kids always called him Druggie. Always. Always. Always.

The second hand addiction wasn’t his fault. Nor was his choice to take so much of it. His parents forced him, and when he took it, he had to pay them back. Had to.

He’s always sickly pale. His eyes were typically red rimmed with the haze in his hues. His movements were always too uncoordinated, or too disjointed. The wind caught in his throat and he suddenly really, really didn’t want to be here. Memories soaked his throbbing skull as he became aware of every feeling burning his senses.

The hand on the floor moved to rest on his chest that refused to take anymore forced breaths. His eyes were shocked open, his jaw locked closed tight over his bottom lip. He couldn't breathe.

Kokichi swore his lungs would eventually burst, but his eyes slipped closed while they waited to explode. Trapping the air inside.

Last thing he felt was his empty skull whack against the concrete floors of the school.

* * *

“...chi…”

“...Koki…”

“...Kokichi?”

Such gentle hands had brushed the hair out of his face. Even pulling off the strands that stuck to his wet cheeks. He didn’t open his eyes, in fear that reality would come cracking down on him. So his eyes stayed shut, but he moved his heavy head, that seemed to be against someone’s shoulder.

One of their arms were around him, keeping him upright, while the other was… He didn’t know. He only felt tender fingers adjust him somewhat. “...Kokichi? Can you walk?”

He nodded dumbly, hating them for pulling him away from his much needed sleep. Yet their voice was so calming, inviting. Kokichi opened his eyes slowly, keeping his stare down so he avoided the ceiling hall lights. They stood up with an arm under him. Helping him stand on his own.

Kokichi soon recognized the voice. And his own heart faulted to a near stop. “...mm, Shuichi?” He asked, Shuichi. A tall, steady classmate in his second class. They know each other. Really, really well. Or, not as well. Kokichi can’t remember who he was to him. All he knows is that Shuichi is the only kind person to ever smile at him.

“...Yes, Kokichi, Just.. focus on getting to the nurses office.”

And he has a bubble of warmth in his heart, especially for him. Since Shuichi was so… unrealistically kind. It hurt his head, he always told himself that one day Shuichi would turn rotten. He would glare at him too.

But he never did. Never, not once.

“Are you alright, Kokichi?” His beloved asked softly, they turned the corner and they had a good fifteen feet till the nurses office. He shook his head, completely burnt out from earlier. Only now it settles into his mind that he had been crying before. No wonder he felt so drained.

Shuichi practically carried him through the nurses door. He could only imagine the look on the nurses face when she saw Kokichi hanging nearly limp from Shuichi’s arms. The next thing to hit him was a hard school medical cot.

The worried stressed out nurse looked at him and then at Shuichi. “You could… Go back to class, Saihara. I’ll take care of him, thank you.”

Kokichi’s eyes jolted open at that. He stared pleadingly at Shuichi. Silently begging that he’d stay. Stay with him. He can’t be left alone, please not now.

Shuichi caught his stare. Politely turning to the nurse with an apologetic smile. “...I’ll stay here. Is that alright?” For a moment, Kokichi thought she’s decline. If so, he’d give her a drunken kick in the knees. But she shrugged instead.

“That’s fine I guess. You’re a good student. I’ll call down to your teachers and let them know where you are. You can sit next to him, I’ll be back.” She left into her office, leaving Shuichi to sit right next to him.

That gentle hand was back with such a gentle smile. Kokichi stared up at him as the warm soft fingers filled his empty palm. Weaving themselves together in a comforting gesture. “...You forgot, didn’t you?” Shuichi said calmly. As if this whole act was adoring.

“...forget?” He croaked. “I-... forget a lot. You’ll… have to jog my memory.” He whispered, feeling so fluttery at the contact. The room was flipping around him, but the hand holding was grounding at least him and Shuichi.

Shuichi leaned over and kissed his cheek. “...We’re together. Two days ago. Under the Sakura tree… I said I’d help you through this and mend everything, remember?” He chuckled light-heartedly. His smooth fingers brushed over his knuckles in a thrilling touch that made Kokichi’s heart feel weightless.

Kokichi stared numbly at him. He does. He does remember but he ran out of energy to afford a reaction. It was like being in a paralyzed body. Where you’re mind is awake, but you’re body is dead. Only kept alive by needles and machines. “...Shuichi.” He whispered, the tears were back and the weight on his chest had increased by tenfold.

The hand that held his gave a soft squeeze. He hoped he’d never let go. “...I’m.. really, really tired…” Kokichi muttered, everything was shutting off, now that he was laying down. Shuichi’s other hand combed through his hair, slightly greasy from lack of soaps.

“...What happened at home, Kichi.” He asked, using that nickname, maybe to help him admit it. He would admit it even without the extra sugar on top.

“...Mom got arrested.” He whispered. “...Dad was never found guilty, but he… lost his supply.” The bruises under his shirt were to scream at him for it. It was all hidden. Right under concealing fabric. No one could help him, no one cared enough to.

Except Shuichi, who was thumbing away the tears that tracked down his cheeks. _He doesn’t deserve this. He really, really doesn’t deserve this._

“...why does it hurt?” Kokichi’s voice cracked over the question, probably asking thin air because Shuichi was only here to listen. Yet his little strokes of his gentle hands made him loosen the grip on the anxiety pounding in his chest. He wants to go back to sleep. He wants to sleep, Shuichi could hold his hand, maybe even… coax him into a warm nap.

Kokichi put an arm over his eyes. Shunning Shuichi’s gentle hand. He didn’t know how long they were like that for. But the nurse must have been there for as long as he has been silent.

“...Withdrawal.” The woman said softly. She had a clipboard in hand, looking at him with all the pity a human could muster. “Severe withdrawal.” She corrected, as if it would make things better. “Stay home- or, ah, stay where you can rest. It’ll be rough for a bit… I suggest seeing a doctor.”

Kokichi grimaced. The world and its color was burning into a bright neon green and blinding him. “...Shuichi,” He whispered. Clamping his eyes shut in an attempt to drown out the dull pain enveloping him. “...can you take me home, y-your, home..”

He would have added a ‘please’. But the lights were too much. He felt one last kiss to his forehead, along with an “of course”.

Before he slipped unconscious.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m tired so.,,. This was born, Hope u enjoioysed XD


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